Survival Brawl

Today's ministers – meaning those ministers belonging to our generation. How many of us are willing to give all up for the ministry? Or let me rephrase. How far are you willing to sacrifice for Christ? I believe that one major problem with ministers from my generation would be the issue of faith. Oh, we wouldn't have any problems with faith when it concerns healing and faith that God exists etc. But the faith that I bring into question is the faith to trust God's faithfulness. What is the center of our ministry and life? God – that we are willing to forsake all for His cause? Or is it just something else other than God? When we are tested and are going through a time or phase wherein we have to live by faith, trusting God every step of the way, will we pass the test? Or will we throw in the towel and leave the ministry? Are we willing to go through times when we ma have to eat nothing for days or even sleep in the streets?

I question myself, if I am to go through that which was aforementioned, will I be able to go through it? Being someone who thinks a lot and thinks very macro at that, and far into the future, I tend to already chart my plans for my life. Plans for my ministry, plans to marry already made, plans to live my life, plans to furnish my house in future, all this and many many more. Even plans for my loved ones even after my death. But so many plans require much finance. Being called into the ministry, I recognize and accept the fact that I will not be very well paid. Just by doing drafted / assumed calculation, it is almost certain that it will definitely be on the negative; the inadequate side. But I am content. Living alone by faith is not that much of a problem. But the problem may arise is when I have a wife and kids. I love them so so much that it breaks my heart just thinking and imagining of this situation in the future. Living on less than the bare necessities, will I be willing to bring those I love into much suffering? Am I willing to forsake all for Christ's sake? Or rather, will I still be in the ministry when faced with such a situation?

I remember the time I was called into the ministry. At that time, I was still young and not much thought was given about the future; my future. I was a very ambitious young chap. Big dreams, big visions, big goals. I enrolled myself in medical school but things did not work out that well. Now, I had a couple of options before me: continue pursuing medicine, go into international business, or something that doesn't interest me like biotech, or another option was to go into full-time ministry (though I was hesitating with this as I wanted to go only if it's God's timing). In every options, I had big plans and was very ambitious. Top pediatric surgeon, CEO etc. But after fasting and praying and seeking God's will, with confirmation from couple of people, I made the decision to go into full-time ministry. But the issue aforementioned still never struck me. At least until I met someone who really made me think so far into the future.

After hearing stories of pastors and missionaries of old, it challenged me to think about everything I've said earlier, including that special someone. But being more mature now than before, her studies come 1^st. If God wills, anything further will be pursued after she graduates. But back to the point, I've heard of ministers earning 2 digits or 3 digits salary, eating only potatoes, that also having days without any food. As mentioned earlier, my guess is that even for marriage, there will most likely be not enough to even carry out the wedding. My house will probably be empty for a bed and a few basic necessities.

Some might say that bigger churches will pay more. You will live a better life working there. That is probably why some ministers would prefer to work in bigger churches. But as for me, it is not about the money but it is entirely about God. God, at this point of time, gave me a burden for and led and leads me to Kluang and I want to be faithful to what He has called me to no matter what the circumstance. Even when I write all these, I'm thinking about how I would be in future and more so, of those who have gone before me and lived by faith. And I can't help but be pushed to tears, especially when we know that God is faithful. God is and will be faithful. I believe and know this. For my part, I want and will be faithful to what He has given me and called me to do.

"God, I place everything into Your hands. From my life, to my love, to my future, to my finances, to my ministry. All I place in Your hands. Teach me and help me to have faith in You like Abraham, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego had. For I know that You will be faithful. As for now, I live my life to be faithful to everything you have given to me and to what you have called me to do and to do it well."